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The Race I Cannot Win – My Messy Beautiful

April 7, 2014 by Tiffany 63 Comments

I am beyond ridiculously excited to be part of The Messy Beautiful Warriors Project with Glennon and Momastery. Giddy. And terrified. And freaking out a little bit.

I’m not a writer, but I am a Monkee, so I will do my best to share with you my messy beautiful.

{This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!}

I don’t run. And by that I mean I hate to run, despise running, would rather do bedtime with 4 littles (gasp!). My husband even bought me this bumper sticker so I could show my passion with pride.

I guess it’s ironic then, that I constantly relate life to running a race. I can’t seem to fight the feeling that I am in the middle of a very long marathon and that I am losing. I’m pretty sure I am perpetually in last place.

I am a wife, a mom of 4, a blogger, and a small business owner. I run (metaphorically, of course), my legs hurt, I’m tired and when I look ahead the horizon is empty. In my mind you are all so far ahead that I can’t even see you. You are hosting pin-worthy parties while wearing heals and earrings, and even helping your kids get their 2nd grade animal reports turned in on time.

I’m back here in the hoodie and flats. Running. Always frazzled and late, being reminded of the stupid animal report the night before. I’m pretty sure I owned earrings and heals at one point, but I can’t remember. They probably fell off during all the freaking running.

Messy is definitely a word to describe my life right now, if only because of the never ending poopy diapers and little bums I wipe every day. Messy, hard, and exhausting. But here’s the thing, the race actually gets really beautiful when I fall. And boy do I fall. Not a little trip where you jump up and make sure no one saw. I’m talking arms and legs flailing, head over heals, positive everyone is pointing and laughing kind of falls.

And when I’m down the most beautiful thing happens. Hands reach out and I finally look around. Not just ahead, but right and left and I realize I’m not alone. I’m not on my own and far behind, I’m surrounded by other women and mamas in the middle of the mess. I’m surrounded by family and friends, love and kindness. And beauty.

Hands willing to share bandaids, wipe tears and remind me that we are in this together. To remind me that life is hard, but good. To remind me to look around for other face-planted warriors who need my hands.

Together we sit and rest for a moment. We share the beauty of “me too” and of “we can do hard things.” And eventually we help each other up, dust each other off and help each other continue on the journey. In my falls I often recognize things I need to let go of, blessings I hadn’t realized, and feel the love that is all around me.

I wish I could remember these beautiful truths for more than a few minutes at a time. I wish I didn’t start looking forward and feeling behind again so quickly.

I guess it’s a good thing I fall so often.

Please don’t point and laugh. 🙂

Love,

Tiffany – Messy Beautiful Warrior

If you haven’t read Glennon’s book Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life yet, I hope you will. It is uplifting, funny, and one of my favorite books of all time.

I am excited today to give you the chance to win a copy of this incredible book! I’m buying 3 of you a copy of the newly released paperback!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: Giveaway, Mental Health, Spiritual Health, Tiff

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Comments

  1. Charie says

    April 7, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    Looks Great!!! New things always take a little time to get use to.!!!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      Thanks Charie! Yes, they do! Thanks for the support! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Nadia says

    April 7, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Tiff, I love it. It looks so clean and so you. I like the participant login section and honestly, it just looks so happy to me. Congrats! So exciting!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      Nadia, you are the greatest! Thank you so much for your sweet comments, they mean the world to me!

      Reply
  3. Shara Gibson says

    April 7, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    I love the new look and the new website! You are truly amazing and a wonderful example of being healthy! It is a continual process and my husband and I love doing the challenge. Thanks for all you do!!

    Shara

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      Thank you so much Shara! You are doing great and I’m so glad you are both loving the challenge!

      Reply
  4. MICHELLE P. says

    April 7, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Your website looks fantastic! Congrats! I also LOVE this post. Sounds like we could be running partners. 🙂

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      Haha! Thanks Michelle!

      Reply
  5. Julie NEwhouse says

    April 7, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Love it! I feel like this goes along perfectly with the latest LDS women’s conference. We really do need each other!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:42 pm

      That is so true! Thanks Julie!

      Reply
  6. Mary Aalgaard says

    April 7, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    Of course, you’re a writer. You write; therefore, you are a writer. You’re a blogger; therefore, you wish to share your words with the world, along with your messy. Excellent metaphor about life and how it’s a marathon. I’ll be participating in the Messy, Beautiful campaign this week, too. Just keep running!
    Play off the Page

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:43 pm

      Thanks Mary! I guess I need to start thinking of myself that way. It definitely isn’t easy to share your messy. I’m excited to read your essay too! Thanks for stopping by and for commenting!

      Reply
  7. Whitney Fleming says

    April 7, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Oh, being in the thick of it. It’s what I wrote about too. And when you fall, or get one millisecond to look around, you realize just how beautiful it all is. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:44 pm

      Isn’t that the truth! Thanks for stopping by and commenting Whitney. I’m excited to read your essay too!

      Reply
  8. Dayna says

    April 7, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    It looks awesome!! I can’t wait to look more into it!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks Dayna!

      Reply
  9. Angie says

    April 7, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    I am so excited to start the program in 1 week. This is exactly what I have been looking for to give me a boost to reach my goals both physically and spiritually! I love the new website!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks Angie! I’m excited to have you join in and hope you love the challenge! 🙂

      Reply
  10. Haylee says

    April 7, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    Your new sight looks great tiff! I’m happy for all you success with the business and can’t wait to do the challenge again sometime

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks Haylee!

      Reply
  11. Rachel says

    April 7, 2014 at 10:46 pm

    All your patience and hard work is paying off!! It’s awesome, as are you!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:25 pm

      Thanks Rach! I think you’re pretty awesome too! 😉

      Reply
  12. Loren Perkins says

    April 8, 2014 at 3:06 am

    I am new to your challenge and I love your new site! I am trying to get my husband to do the next challenge with me and he liked looking over your new site as well. I am excited about the participant log in section and to see how it will help me through the challenge. Thanks for setting all of this up and being a great source of motivation for me to improve my life and become more healthy!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:27 pm

      Thanks Loren! It isn’t always easy to get husbands involved, but even if he decides not to join your example will go a long way. 🙂

      Reply
  13. Sharon Emero says

    April 8, 2014 at 3:09 am

    Looks good!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      Thanks Sharon!

      Reply
  14. Dana S says

    April 8, 2014 at 4:00 am

    Looks great!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      Thanks Dana!

      Reply
  15. Kristin says

    April 8, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    I love it! It is so clean and fresh and wonderful! I can’t wait to explore it. 🙂

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      Thanks Kristin! That means a lot coming from your incredible design eye! If you have any suggestions let me know!

      Reply
  16. Teresa says

    April 8, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    I love that bumper sticker! I am a hair dresser and I can’t tell you how many moms have sat in my chair and told me the hard times as a mom and it is nice to know that we are not alone and that we have each other in this messy life. Thanks for the post!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 8, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      Thanks for taking the time to comment Teresa! It is so nice to remember that we are not alone in our struggles!

      Reply
  17. Melissa Dixon says

    April 9, 2014 at 4:17 am

    I love the new look! I think that anytime you spend updating and refreshing information and layouts it helps the site be more user friendly 🙂

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 9, 2014 at 5:44 pm

      Thanks Melissa! I hope so, that is definitely the goal! 🙂

      Reply
  18. Lynda says

    April 9, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    I’m excited to get started!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 9, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      I’m excited to have you join in! 🙂

      Reply
  19. Holly Waterfall says

    April 9, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this. SO often I feel very much alone in my big messes. I too don’t trip, I FALL on my face. The biggest problem is that I don’t tell many people about my “fallings” so I haven’t been able to see as much of the beauty of others in my company on the ground. What a wonderful lesson this is. I appreciate it more than you know.

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 9, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      Thanks for commenting Holly! Sometimes just knowing you aren’t alone makes all the difference! Next time you fall, call me. I promise I won’t point and laugh! 😉

      Reply
  20. Erin says

    April 9, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    I love the new site! And this post was so great. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 9, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      Thanks Erin!!

      Reply
  21. Kristy says

    April 10, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Just the fact that you are even trying to improve your already awesome website is impressive and inspirational! I enjoyed the way the old one was set up, and the new one seems to be fabulous as well!! I am looking forward to exploring it more! 🙂 Way to always be positive and looking for ways (big or micro) to help improve others’ lives, and in turn, your own! 🙂 Thanks!!

    Reply
    • Kristy says

      April 10, 2014 at 4:05 am

      OH! I had to share this!!! It’s a quote I saw on Pinterest. I NEVER RUN WITH SCISSORS. THOSE LAST TWO WORDS WERE UNNECESSARY. 🙂

      Reply
      • Tiffany says

        April 10, 2014 at 7:24 pm

        Haha! Looks like I need a new number sticker! 🙂

        Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 10, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      Thank you so much for this comment Kristy! You are so sweet!

      Reply
  22. Christine Wood says

    April 10, 2014 at 6:08 am

    The new website looks great! I’m excited to start the challenge for the second time next week (which I haven’t even signed up for yet)!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 10, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      Thanks Christine! I’m excited to have you join in again and I just saw your email, so I’ll send you an invoice asap. 🙂

      Reply
  23. Amy says

    April 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Love the new site!! 🙂

    Reply
  24. AmY says

    April 10, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    I love it! It looks great! I’m so glad that you’re working on this and can’t wait to see it when it’s all the way finished! You’re awesome Tiff!!!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 11, 2014 at 12:46 am

      Thanks Amy! It definitely has a ways to go, but I’m liking the improvements so far! Hope you and baby are doing well!

      Reply
  25. Alicia says

    April 11, 2014 at 2:14 am

    I do run, but on a treadmill. Inside. Where I can not be hot….but I readily imagine myself banging my head on it, knocking myself out and waking up elsewhere. I think life is sometimes just like that. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 12, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Haha! I love it! 🙂

      Reply
  26. Heather says

    April 11, 2014 at 3:32 am

    I’m new to the site (via Bless this Mess Please … not sure how I found her, but delighted!). I think it’s great & very inspiring!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 12, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Thanks Heather and welcome! I love Bless This Mess too and I’m so glad you found us both! 🙂

      Reply
  27. Amy from Swag on, Momma! says

    April 11, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Ah…I needed to read this tonight. Sometimes my ambitions get the better of me, and I have to realize that being a present wife, mother, friend, daughter, sisiter, etc is one of the greatest things I can ever accomplish. I love your analogy. Thank you for your honest post!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 12, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      I’m so happy to hear that Amy! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

      Reply
  28. Kacie says

    April 11, 2014 at 7:00 am

    This is a great reminder, even applying to more than motherhood but in my life as a young newlywed with chronic illness. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 12, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Thanks for commenting Kacie! It’s true that even though our exact circumstances are different, our struggles are the same. Good luck with your challenges. You can do hard things!

      Reply
  29. Julie Wood says

    April 13, 2014 at 6:21 am

    I didn’t see the old blog, but this one is great. Thank you!

    Reply
  30. Kimm b says

    April 15, 2014 at 5:23 am

    I’ve only accessed via my phone, but so far, so good!!!

    Reply
  31. normaleverydaylife says

    April 15, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    What a great post! Love your honesty! We always feel alone in the race until we fall. Then I realize others are struggling too and it’s so nice to help each other! #Be.You.Tiful

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 15, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      Thanks! And thanks for taking the time to comment. It helps so much to know you’re not alone. 🙂

      Reply
  32. Kristin Normandin says

    April 24, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Oh my I loved this article! I found it through the Messy Beautiful page that I also submitted to! So perfect…funny and got a tear in my eye <3 It took me a while to find my "me too" crowd but I have one and really do relate in that I find the most healing when I fall on my face and have to be told "Me too" by one of them! Such a great read, thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Tiffany says

      April 24, 2014 at 3:49 pm

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment Kristin! I’ll definitely be heading over to read yours too!

      Reply

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